Since we began this journey 12 months ago, I’ve run the gamut of emotions. I’ve recounted my emotional journey many times since August, so feel free look back if you’ve forgotten. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of documenting our lives (and especially my emotional life), but I haven’t done a very good job of sharing what’s been the driving force behind this drastic life-change, and what has been on my mind every day of these last 12 months.

On July 24th of last year, I received an email from my friend Pam, inviting us to join her at Black Forest Academy for a week. I had never heard of Black Forest Academy and, being the researcher that I am, found the website. I spent the next four or five hours sitting on my bed, devouring every piece of information I could find about BFA. I’m pretty sure that by the time Israel got home later that evening, I’d even blog-stalked several staff people. Basically, I fell in love with BFA from the moment I visited their website. What kept me arrested and what captured my heart wasn’t the excitement, or the opportunity to travel back to Germany, or the even the possibility of doing something fulfilling (though those were all appealing), what made my heart leap was the students. Black Forest Academy is a boarding school for missionary kids. 90% of the 350 students are the children of missionaries.

While at Orientation a few weeks ago, I heard the story of my new friend Anne, and have been reflecting on it ever since. Anne attended BFA as a boarding student for three years during high school. Here’s the short version of her story. One night, she asked her RA why God had taken her away from her home and family to come live with a bunch of MKs. Her RA said, “Because He loves you Anne,” and that statement changed Anne’s life. This story gave voice to the burning passion and hope of my heart—that Jesus would use my life to say to BFA’s students, I love you.

I haven’t shared this in the blog, but in September, I was assigned a small group of seven sophomore girls. Their small group leader was leaving, and, since we thought we would be arriving soon, I was to take over. Since September, I’ve been able to get to know these young women through Facebook, and I love them. Even though I’ve never met them, and have no idea if I’ll understand their stories, or even if I’ll ever lead their small group, they’ve taken up residence in my heart. God placed these girls in my life so that he could increase my love for the students of BFA. These students have sacrificed security, stability, a sense of home, and often aspects of their family, for a calling that wasn’t even theirs.

Israel and I are being sent to be Jesus to these kids, who, though they know many facts about Jesus, might not believe that he delights in them. We’ve been given a great opportunity. We have the privilege of loving the children of people who have taken up a mighty calling. We have the joy of loving students who Jesus deeply cares for, students who have spent their lives telling others about the love of Jesus, but perhaps have never believed it themselves.

I’m doing a poor job of expressing the deep conviction that has grown in my heart, but I think what I want you to know is that these kids are worth it. Just as much as any people group across the globe, they deserve to have someone go on their behalf, that they might know their Creator. Thank you for allowing us to go. Thank you for funding us and sending us out. Thank you for taking up this quest with us, for saying that these kids are important too. I am deeply honored.

Right now, I’m sitting in an armchair at my Mom’s home in Telephone, Texas. In a few days, we’ll say goodbye to them for the last time before we move to Germany. I want to treasure these last few days with them, but I find my mind wandering back to Minnesota.

We spent the last seven days with about 35 other new staff at our sending organization’s orientation. It was amazing. We met some amazing new people—MKs, teachers, staff folks. We learned some amazing things—about Christian Education, living in another country, Third Culture Kids. In short, it was a wonderful time.

Since I’m finding it hard to put my thoughts into words, I’m just going to hit some of the highlights of the week.

Hearing about the vision and mission of TeachBeyond

We have an amazing sending organization, TeachBeyond. We originally picked TeachBeyond because their application process was streamlined with Black Forest Academy’s. We didn’t know much more about their overarching purpose, but now we do. This organization is using education to change the world.

At our orientation, we had new staff members going to 10 different countries in Europe, Africa and Asia. A few years ago, TeachBeyond was sending staff only to BFA. We were also the largest group of new members ever. TeachBeyond is growing. They are using the need and opportunity of education to further the kingdom of God. If you’re a teacher or want to serve overseas, check out TeachBeyond. God is doing amazing things through this group.

Meeting our mission family

When we went to Orientation, I didn’t expect to find a new family, but that’s what happened. Every person there shared our passion for loving students and MKs. These are people who know what it’s like to sell all of their belongings and leave their lives of comfort for the sake of the Kingdom. People who know the humility, dependence and miracle of asking people to join you in a mission. People who have agreed to step into the unknown, for the sake of Christ. I expected to enjoy getting to know new people, but I didn’t expect to be sad to leave them. I was always excited about loving the students at BFA, but now I’m excited about loving the staff as well.

Not only did we get to meet all the other new missionaries, we were also able to meet the TeachBeyond staff who have supported us during the past year. We met Mike, the first person to contact us. We met the amazing women who handle all of our pledges and finances. We even met the President of the organization. It was a privilege to see these people. There’s no way we’d be going to Germany without them.

Being Encouraged and Affirmed in Our Purpose

More than anything else, this weekend was an encouragement. For the past year, I really didn’t plan to be at Orientation; I planned to be in Germany. Fortunately, God is much wiser than I. I’m so thankful we were at Orientation. Throughout the entire week, we were strengthened in our desire and purpose for BFA. We saw more clearly the need for our skills and passions. We were even able to talk with several MKs, two who attended BFA themselves, about their lives and experiences. We feel more prepared and purposed because of Orientation.

Meeting Anne

Anne is an MK from Central Asia. She spent 10 years living in another country and attended BFA for three years. While she was there, God used one of her RAs (Resident Assistants) to help her understand the depth of his love, which is why she’s going back to be an RA herself. I loved getting to know Anne. There have been two people in my life with whom I’ve had an instant connection. One of these people was Pam, who changed my world by introducing us to BFA. Anne makes a third. I was so encouraged by Anne. She is wise, and thoughtful and insightful. I am so excited that I’ll be able to spend the next two years loving MKs alongside her.

Hearing the Stories of our Fellow Staff

One of our favorite parts of Orientation was hearing the testimonies of other staff members. Each night, we would gather to share what Christ had done in our lives. It was amazing to see the work of God in the lives of these 40 or so people. It was wonderful to see the way that God drew each of us to himself and then gave us the opportunity to serve him overseas. I can’t wait to hear what God does over the next few years through us all.

Please pray for these people. I can promise you, they are all amazing, and God will use them each to accomplish his work. Pray for their support. One couple learned about a school opening only two days before Orientation started. They (along with many others) have got a lot of support to raise by August 1st. Pray for their transitions. Almost all of us are going to cultures that are unfamiliar to us and we will all face discouragement, confusion, and doubt. Pray that God would be glorified through our triumphs and failures, good days and bad days, certainty and confusion.

We’re Official

On Friday evening, we were commissioned by TeachBeyond. It was a short, simple service, the staff simply prayed for us, but it felt like the culmination of the last 12 months, and the beginning of a new and exciting adventure. We leave for Black Forest Academy in 18 days. I have no idea what the next few years will look like for us. I have no idea if we’ll be any good at our jobs, or like German culture, or want to stay, but I know that God has prepared us for this. We’re ready.

So I’m not sure if you are aware, but mine and Dani’s lives are changing. Our desires have changed. Our passions have changed. Our definition of love and truth have changed. Changed in a way that is better and more full. Full of wants and desires that pursue the seemingly unattainable – a life without failure, without a hurting world, without people in need.

Don’t get me wrong. We fail miserably at accomplishing this goal. Some would say we aren’t even going to make a difference in this life. That life is meaningless, and without merit or truth. I say those people have a sad definition of life. And I won’t be able to change their minds. So what can I do?

Well, I’ve decided it’s not my responsibility to change peoples minds. And since I can’t do that, I’ll just change the world. “Ha”, you say? Well that is pretty arrogant of me, but it’s what I wish could happen. In reality I can’t do that. I can’t—without other people. So yeah…I have to deal with the hard and tough. There is no easy life, no easy route. Easy isn’t an option anymore.

This is one of the things I’ve been struggling with. I’m called to change the world. I’m called to live radically. I’m called. But I’ve been struggling, hurting, frustrated and contemplating things I don’t understand. And I want to share some of what I’ve been trying to figure out. Openness and honesty are huge to me. So here is an excerpt from a journal entry.

April 24, 2010 – God what do you want from me?

God what do you want from me?
What would you have me do?
I don’t know what to do next
Is there something missing, something hindering you and me

I just want to be where I hear you calling me. And the stillness is deafening.

Open me up and help me to hear, help me to hear.
Take this yoke upon you. My next steps are hidden from me, please help me, help me to hear you leading me.

Lord what can I do to see?
Do I need to let go?
I thought I had let it all fall
Is there something missing, something hindering you and me

I just want to be where I hear you calling me. And the stillness is deafening.

Open me up and help me to hear, help me to hear.
Take this yoke upon you. My next steps are hidden from me, please help me, help me to hear you leading me.

Help Me To Hear

Written in the car while driving in Telephone, TX. Trying to figure out God and why I’m not hearing or seeing what the next step is. Or why we aren’t getting our support. Is my sin stopping us from going? Am I not doing enough? I just don’t know the next steps to take…

All my life I feel like I’ve struggled to figure out where I fit in, where I should go, and who I should be. From my earliest memories I remember struggling with realities of life. Like when I found out about slavery for the first time. I was devastated. I couldn’t focus the rest of the day. I just couldn’t believe people could do that to each other. Since then I feel like all I’ve been doing is building calluses to all the hurt and problems I’ve seen or learned about. And I don’t want any more calluses.

The Past Alters Perspectives

The next day after writing that journal entry I found out that someone wanted to give us about 30% of our monthly budget. What can I say to that? How do I mix such undeserved giving with such hurt and need? How do I keep from letting myself build calluses when things get tough and I don’t know what’s next? I don’t know the answer to that.

I do know that I’m sick and tired of my complacency. My inability to keep pursuing a life of complete giving of myself, without regard of the consequences or with need for any payment in return. I want to be able to love others without any presupposition or need for them to love me back. I want my life to be full of joy and peace so much that my first instinct is to help others.

My Hope and Prayer

I have been given the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of hundreds of children. To give them love and peace. I just pray and hope that it’s enough. I pray that their loves will be changed forever. That they will pursue truth and an unwavering love for other people. I know I won’t be 100% effective, nor will I be good at it. But that’s not an issue anymore. I don’t want any more calluses. I want to let myself go and be okay with hurt and pain so that others might be given peace and experience the love that I want to be able to share. My life and my heart are not my own, and so my pain and hurt are not my own.

I can’t wait to share my life with those in Germany. To help them conquer their lives and to love them unconditionally. I just hope that it doesn’t stop there. That I daily pursue a truth that revolves around hard people that cause hurt. I’m okay with that. I just want an opportunity to love them. No strings. Just unbridled giving of my life, my possessions, my time, my desires for the moment that they experience a greater love than I can give them. That is my hope and prayer.

On Sunday afternoon, I made a phone call that brought us from 53% of our monthly support to 80%. 80%! I was in total shock. And awe. I couldn’t believe it.

The family that brought us from 53 to 80% was one that we had met with in March. I was supposed to call them back in early April to update them about whether we were leaving, but I didn’t. My initial excuse was that we were busy at a family wedding. But then I felt bad that I hadn’t called, and I put it off. And then I felt even worse that I hadn’t called, and put it off again. And on and on the cycle went, until yesterday. If I had called when I was supposed to, we might have been gone by now.

In late March I posted on our blog about my sense of expectation that God was going to bring our support in. And what do you know, he had! I just hadn’t called to follow up. Anyway, my whole point in telling you these details isn’t to rue the past, but to tell you that God really did have it taken care of!

Since Sunday, we’ve even received 4% more of our support. So now we’re at 84%! This means we can actually leave for Germany!

We’re currently waiting to hear from Black Forest Academy about whether we should come now or wait until the summer. If we come now, we’ll probably arrive with just two or three weeks of school left. These are some of the busiest weeks of the year, for both students and staff. It probably won’t be a great time to try to transition, plus the staff won’t have much time to help us get settled. But, it would give us the opportunity to meet Tim and Sandee, the director and his wife, before they move this summer. Plus, we’d be there!

If we don’t head over immediately, we’ll be able to attend our TeachBeyond orientation in June. Then, we might head to Germany in July and have a month or so to adjust to life before school begins.

With whatever time we do have left in the States, we hope to raise the remaining 16% of our support. We plan to continue meeting with new people and following up with those we have yet to hear back from. It would be a huge blessing to head to Black Forest Academy fully funded!

We’re so excited! It doesn’t seem quite real that we’ll actually be going to Germany! Thank you for walking with us through this journey. You all have been faithful encouragers to us.

We serve a God who is good, faithful and generous, despite our faithlessness, doubt and sin.

We’ll keep you updated on our departure date!

Well, it’s been another month since our last blog post. The five sentence post previous to this one doesn’t count, obviously. Usually, not posting for a month means that nothing exciting has happened, which is kind of the case here. Not much has happened on the support side of things.

Because I know you’re all dying to know, I’ll give you a brief overview of what’s been going on for us in April. Ready?

April 1st happened.

We knew it would eventually—the looming, self-imposed deadline. When April rolled around, we found ourselves not at 100% or even 80% of our monthly support, but at 53%. Well, it’s better than 25%. Moving on.

Hannah got married. Israel’s lovely sister Hannah married her beloved Australian beau on April 3rd. A wonderful time was had by all. Also, 20 minutes before the wedding, I fell down half a flight of stairs. More on that in a later post.

The Bride

We moved. From November through March, we were living with the wonderful Luke and Ashley. Here’s a bit of info about these two. First, they are pregnant with their first child. In case you didn’t know, that’s a big deal. They found out they were pregnant a few weeks before we moved in, but still graciously opened up their home to us. Second, they bought and moved into their first home while we were living with them. Also a big deal. Third, they have two relatively new dogs. For some, this may not be a life-changing occurrence, but when one of your dogs is a separation-anxiety prone Weimaraner who like to use knives as chew toys, break dishes and eat 100 pieces of chocolate at a time, it can be rather stressful. So, in order for let Luke and Ashley to properly settle into their new home and prepare for their upcoming baby, we moved in with some other friends.

We are currently living with Josh and Margo in a town about 30 minutes south of Fayetteville. They live on a small farm, which is why you may have heard us mention snakes and missing kid goats. That’s all I’m going to tell you about the farm until we post more later.

Am I annoying anyone with my blatant withholding of information? I don’t want to ruin our upcoming posts!

When we moved in with Josh and Margo, they went to Hawaii for two weeks. After four months of living with another couple and seven months of traveling and sleeping on air mattresses in other people’s living rooms, we got to be alone. Oh glorious solitude. I do need my alone time and when I don’t get it, I tend to seclude myself in my room, which feels a little anti-social when all the other people in our house are chatting in the living room. Anyway, our two weeks of alone time also coincided with two weeks of disappointment and discouragement about not being in Germany yet.

Last week, we traveled to Texas again to visit some of my family that was in town. We spent about a week hanging out with the fam, playing games, eating too much and hold Addy, my cousin’s miracle baby. More on this in another post.

Addy and Her Momma

There you go. That’s what’s happened since April 1st.

Our monthly support hasn’t really budged at all, partly due to our lack of effort. It’s been hard to get back up and press on with our support raising. I had a rather profound and encouraging thought earlier today about support raising and God’s plan and such, but I can’t remember it now…. I’ll let you know if I do.

We’re still at 53% of our monthly amount, but we’ve seen a lot of one-time gifts come in this month, about $5,000 worth. This puts us over our required start-up money. We’re still waiting to hear back from two churches regarding monthly support. This Sunday we’re also heading back down to Texas to speak in the evening service at the First Baptist Church of Bonham. Pray that God softens the hearts of the congregation there so that they connect with us (this is not a church either of us have attended), see the importance of loving missionary kids and want to give! We’re hoping to find a few new monthly supporters here.

I think we’ve both had a hard time not giving up. We’ve gone through most of the people on our list of potential supporters and don’t feel very optimistic about proceeding. After working so hard for the last few months, it’s hard to believe that we’ll actually make it to the point where we can leave. The past couple days, I’ve found myself in the same mental state I was in a year ago, questioning whether God answers pray and is good. But, I’ve been reminded that God isn’t a formula. I can’t do A and B and expect God to answer with C. I know there’s a plan within all of this, and I can see the benefit of our months of support raising. God not answering my prayers in my timing doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me or have good things for me. Sigh. Shouldn’t I be past these things already?

And just in case you’re wondering what in the world the blog header has to do this post, not much. Those oranges were in the juice the morning of Hannah’s wedding. I always feel pressure, from some unnamed person who shares my last name, to use an image in the header, and usually I have no idea what to put there. Hence the oranges.

Today is March 25th. And that means that April 1st is seven days away. One week. 168 hours. Actually, less than 168 hours, because it’s currently 10:29 p.m.

We haven’t budged much in our support these last two weeks. We’re at 52%. According to the numbers, we won’t be leaving for a long time. Logically, we probably won’t arrive in Germany until after the school year is over. But for some reason, my heart is denying that logic. I have this strange eagerness inside me. I’m excited, and anxious, and eager to see what happens. I feel like I’m waiting for a huge, life-changing event, like my wedding. Which is a little ironic, since Israel’s sister gets married on the 3rd.

I don’t know that God will bring our support in within the next seven days. I don’t know when he plans for us to be in Germany. But I feel…hope, or faith, or something, almost physically in my chest. I really can’t describe it. And the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe this is faith and belief in God’s ability and power and desire to prove himself.

We’ve reached a point in our support raising where we’re not really sure who to talk to. We’ve contacted the majority of the people we know. Occasionally I freak out a little bit and wonder where in the world the rest of this money is going to come from, but mostly, I feel the need to pack, and prepare, and order books that I might need. I feel like we’ve done what we can, and the rest is up to God. I’m not saying that we won’t continue meeting with people, but I’m more aware now that all of this is out of our hands. So far, support raising has been such a shocker. So much about it is surprising, that I know that God is in it. From the 50 or so people we have on our team, to our living situation, to the money that keeps coming out of nowhere for us to live on, I can see God’s provision.

And I feel ready to move to Germany now, in some way that I haven’t before. Not that I speak the language (I don’t), or think we’re finally prepared (we’re not), or feel in any way capable of doing our jobs (oy), but I feel peace, and assurance, and love for the students. I’ve learned so much in the past six months (and four years), and I think God’s been preparing us for this. And in some intangible way that I can’t describe, I feel ready to leave.

I don’t know what God’s going to do with our support. I’ve never had the kind of faith that allows me to believe that God will do this one thing at this one time. I’ve never believed things in that way. But I’m believing in this support thing in a way that’s beyond my normal faith. I feel quite frightened admitting this, because I know I’ll feel embarrassed and foolish if we don’t have our support for three more months, but I think God might do it. I think we might be heading out in a couple weeks. And I think this is a perfect opportunity for him to display his power—to me, at least.

On a whole other note, God’s been opening my eyes again to the fact that we have a enemy. Some days are awful. I’ll be discouraged, and irritable, and angry and sad, and suddenly realize that maybe this isn’t just me, but I’m actually being attacked.

Our marriage has certainly been more…rocky…than usual. We’ve been much more easily offended, and annoyed and angered than ever before. We actually got into a fight, a real, yell-at-each-other-and-storm-out-and-slam-the-door fight, the other day—about our car tag, of all things. I think this was our first official fight. Pretty good for almost four years of marriage I suppose.

Now there’s no reason to be concerned. In many ways, our marriage is more healthy than it has been in a long time. But I can see how these squabbles add to the stress of this time, and make us more weary and can make us feel more downtrodden. In spite of that, God’s drawing us closer together. We’re delighting in each other in ways that we haven’t in a long time. I’m so thankful for that.

Someone mentioned, during one of our support meetings I believe, how one of the best ways for Satan to attack missionaries is to attack their children. I realized, for the first time, how precious and important Black Forest Academy is, and how important our roles are in protecting, and loving, and praying for these kids. They are vulnerable, just because of who they are. For the first time, I felt like I was actually going to be fighting for something at BFA.

Anyway, those are two rather unconnected trains of thought, but that’s what I was thinking about tonight.

Oh, one more thing, if you don’t mind.

We just found out that the director of BFA, Tim Shuman, will be leaving after this year to take a position with the Association of Christian Schools International in Colorado Springs. Tim has been at BFA for 24 years and Sandee, his wife, has been there for 29 years. That’s where they met, became engaged, had their children, and saw them graduate. Israel and I now feel even more of an urgency to get to BFA before the school year ends. Tim has a strong vision for the media at BFA and they obviously know the school very well. We want to absorb every bit of their wisdom and vision that we can. If you’d like to learn more about the Shumans, you can check out their blog.

So, since we have 23 days remaining to raise at least $1,912, we could use your prayers. Here’s some stuff you can lift up to Jesus on our behalf.

An Abundance of Support – In order to have enough support to leave for Germany in April, we need to raise 1.5% of our monthly amount per day. That’s about $80 a day to reach 80% of our budget. In order to reach 100% of our budget, we need to receive $130 of new support a day. That’s about 2.5%. Obviously, if we reach either of these amounts by April 1st, it will be all God. Pray for God to bring a flood of new support! We know that we’ll get to Black Forest Academy at the right time, but it would be amazing if the right time was now.

Favor – Pray that we find favor with those we meet with. We want people to connect with us, understand our vision and passion for the students at BFA, and want to support us. Ask God to give us favor with everyone we call and meet.

Appointments – Pray that the remaining 23 days of our support raising will be packed with appointments! We’re heading to Texas on Thursday and want to meet with as many people as possible.

Glory to God – Pray that through all of our calls and meetings and highs and lows, God is glorified. Sometimes it’s difficult to see how God could receive the glory when we are feeling discouraged and defeated, but we want him to be praised and honored even in our discouragement.

Preparation for Life in Germany – Pray that God will continue to prepare the way for us to get to Germany and then make a life there. We want our support to come in quickly, our travels to be easy, and our adjustment to BFA to be quick. Pray for an apartment in Kandern, the town where the school is. Pray that we’re able to connect with the staff and students. Pray that we make new friends, find a church and learn German quickly. If we do arrive in April, we know that our transition will probably be more difficult than the normal new staff person. We will be arriving mid-year, we will miss the formal orientation and we’ll barely get to know the students before they leave for the summer. It could be a difficult time, but we’d like it to be wonderful. Pray also for our summer; most BFA staff leave for at least one month of the summer, so we could be rather lonely.

Thanks friends! We’re glad to have you in our lives.

Well, I have been trying to write this post for over a week. It was kind of an up and down week for me, and I’ve been unable to translate what I think and feel about support raising into words. I usually do better when I’m feeling optimistic and positive. This week, I had some rather frustrating days when all of my thoughts were dark.

If you gathered from that little introductory paragraph that I’m not always very excited about support raising, you’re right. Sometimes, I’m not. Sometimes it sucks. It can be scary, and frustrating, and discouraging and impossible. I often feel like we’ll never get to Germany, and, if we do, it certainly won’t be in a timely manner. I often put off calling certain people because they intimidate me (terrify might be a more accurate word). Sometimes I leave an appointment and think, that person didn’t get our vision all. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think, God, what are we doing?

Those are the bad days.

But there are also really good days. Like last Wednesday, when I had dinner with a single friend who said she wanted to give $100 a month. I was floored. The next day, a woman who we’ve never even met said she wanted to give $150 a month, to start with! People (that’s how my grandpa always addresses crowds), that’s 5% of our monthly budget in 24 hours! That was a good day.

Then there was the night when I was tired and sad—and had been for two weeks. I was laying in bed watching Hulu— because I was tired and sad—and Israel came in to show me a text message he’d just received. A couple from church wanted to give $100 a month and $200 the first month. That was a good day too.

And sometimes, the people who I’m terrified to call one day, don’t seem so scary the next day. And occasionally we have really encouraging meetings with people. And sometimes, we’ll get an email from someone who’s prayed for exactly what we’re dealing with that day. And there are times we get money in the mail, because we’ve run out.

Those are the good days.

In the past six weeks, we’ve been all-in and indifferent, hopeful and hopeless, hardened and convicted, downtrodden and encouraged—along with a whole slew of other emotions. Support raising is most certainly a growing process. We’re learning to trust God’s provision in very basic, practical ways. We’re learning to trust the Holy Spirit to bring people to our support team, instead of relying on our own charisma and pretty words. We’re learning to believe, in a whole new way, that God is good, and wise and capable to completing what he has begun in our lives. And during our times of doubt and questioning our sanity, God has affirmed that this is exactly where he wants us to be, and that he has uniquely prepared us to serve BFA and love the kids there.

When we started this new phase of support raising in January, we had 25% of our monthly support. As of this morning, we have 45%. We still need to raise at least 35% more ($1,900) in the next 24 days in order to leave in April, and we know that’s a huge task. But we’ve seen glimpses of God’s provision and power and ability over the past few weeks. We’re still hopeful that God will cause a tidal wave of support to flood our account. And if not, that’s okay. We trust that we’ll be at Black Forest Academy at the perfect time. We’ll keep doing our part and trust him to do the rest.

Hello Blog. It’s been a while. How have you been? Are you feeling neglected? I’m sorry. Here’s a hug.

Obviously, February was not the best of months for blogging on our part. Good thing it’s so short. We’ve been very busy raising support this month, and I suppose that’s why we haven’t posted much. Because nothing very exciting has happened, and it’s hard to summarize and explain this whole support process. It’s a big mash of fear, excitement, joy, disappointment, expectation and despair. And that’s just one day. But, I’m feeling capable of putting my thoughts into words today, so here I go.

We started raising support in September, hoping we’d be able to be in Germany in October. It would have taken a miracle, for sure, but we knew that Black Forest Academy wanted us as soon as possible, so we wanted to try. In September, we raised 20% of our support. Yay! From October to January, we raised about 5% more….

Enter Boot Camp.

Boot Camp is a support raising workshop put on by The Body Builders, a group based out of Fayetteville. We’d considered attending Boot Camp in August, but were still in the application process for BFA and didn’t want to spend the money on something we might not need. In January however, we knew we needed it. So, we went down to Ft. Worth for a couple days of support Boot Camping.

And it was amazing. We were already familiar with most of the things discussed at Boot Camp, but hearing them from someone who’s lived on support for 20 years, and being surrounded by sixty other missionaries who were going through the same thing, made a big difference. Boot Camp was encouraging, motivating, convicting and inspiring. We’d basically known what we needed to do to raise support, but after Boot Camp we actually felt capable of doing it.

One of the most helpful things that came out of Boot Camp was The Plan. Boot Camp made us set a date for when we wanted to have our full support. Then, we had to figure out what we needed to do to make that happen. So, our goal was to have our full support by April 1st and be in Germany by April 7th for a retreat.

By the way, if this actually happens, we’re going to have one CRAZY week. Here’s what it would probably look like. We’d finish up our support April 1st, pack everything up, and drive to Muskogee.  Israel’s sister, Hannah, gets married on April 3rd. We’d most likely catch a plane to Germany the next day. When we arrived on the 5th (I’m guessing that’s when we’d arrive), we’d move into our apartment and perhaps go buy furniture, get our visas, open bank accounts, etc. Then, we’d drive to the retreat on the 6th or 7th, where we would meet many of our fellow BFA staff members, get adjusted to the time difference, and then head back for the return of students after Spring Break. Whew, I’m tired just thinking about it.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, we set a goal to work towards. In order to accomplish that goal, we estimated how much new support we’d need each week, how many people we’d need to meet with, and how many calls we’d need to make every day in order to set up all of those meetings. So that’s what we’ve been doing since January 25th—calling people, inviting them to join our support team, and praying that God will bring new supporters to our team.

It’s been a wonderful and exhausting 32 days.

In order to keep this post from being ridiculously long, I’m breaking it up. Stay tuned for Part Two. Coming soon.

Here’s a new song I wrote after talking with God and trying to figure out the whole Christian walk. The song is based off of First John 2:15-17 – “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him…“. The song isn’t finalized, but I wanted to share a little of what I’ve been learning and trying to figure out. The lyrics are below as well. To God be the glory.

Song Lyrics

Date: Jan. 25, 2010
Will I wake up today
Wandering, wondering
Of the things I have to do
Today, someday

Will I hear
Will I move
Will I say
Will I do

I do not know
If my heart is ready for the move

Will the words I say today
Matter, shatter
Of the cares I know are true
Pity, piety