Archive for the ‘Spiritual Journey’ Category

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January 5th, 2010

Goodbye and Hello

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As all of you know, we’ve recently entered a new year. 2009 is gone. 2010 is here. Yesterday was also my birthday. My 26th birthday. For some reason, 26 seems a lot older than 25. Much more adult. And….old. Not that I’m getting shorter or graying (no wait, I am graying), I know I’m still quite young and have a lot to learn, but when people ask me how old I am, I’m going to have to say 26. Twenty-six! That seems much more weighty than 25.

Since we’ve entered a new decade and I just turned Old, I’ve been thinking about the past year. I can’t think of any other year that’s had so much change. 2009 hasn’t been the year with the most significant events, those would probably be 2006, when I married, and 2004, when I found freedom from addiction and finally got salvation, and 1996, when my parents divorced. But 2009 has been a year of huge shifts in life—in direction, in desire, in lifestyle.

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December 14th, 2009

A Heart Like His

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I think that part of what Dani and I are called to do is to help others understand why we are doing what we are doing. I want others, both Christians and non-Christians, to come to share our passion and desire to see people believe in the One who is greater than themselves.

One of the things that Dani and I have been learning about is the idea that, as Christians, our involvement and relationships with other people go beyond pleasing ourselves. They go beyond staying in the city where our parents live. They go beyond the college where we graduated. They go beyond a two-week mission trip. We are not to be self-pleasing, self-aggrandizing, self-fulfilling. Our love for Jesus should be reflected in how we love our neighbor, not ourselves. (matthew 25:40-46, 1 john 2:3-6)

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December 9th, 2009

Grief

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Hopefully you know by now (unless you’ve just stumbled across our blog) that we are planning to work with missionary kids at Black Forest Academy. As part of our preparation, I’ve been reading (rather slowly) Third Culture Kids by David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken. Missionary kids are third culture kids (TCKs), which means they’ve spent a significant period of their formative years outside their passport countries. I’ve also been going to counseling for the past few months. One of the things that keeps coming up, in the book and counseling, is grief.

I moved a lot growing up. I believe I moved 12 times in my first 14 years of life. I don’t know if I technically qualify as a TCK, but I do relate to some of the aspects of TCK life. One thing I’d never realized is that there is a grieving process to moving. Let me tell you, that was an eye-opening chapter. According to the book, the transition cycle for moving is Involvement, Leaving, Transition, Entering and Reinvolvment. Okay, in and of itself, that doesn’t really mean much. The wow moment for me was reading about the Leaving stage, which isn’t talking about getting on a plane and heading to your new home, although that’s part of it, but about emotionally removing yourself from your home. You begin to loosen emotional ties, back out of responsibilities and refrain from taking new ones, and stop making new friends.

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October 9th, 2009

Learning to Love

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And now a post about something real.

The past three years haven’t been my best. I had a lot of expectations about what I thought should happen, and when they didn’t happen, I didn’t respond well.  This seems to be a reoccurring pattern in my life. When we graduated from John Brown, the plan was to stay in Northwest Arkansas for two years and then move to Seattle to go to grad school. So I lived a temporary life. I didn’t invest in anything. I didn’t make new friends. I just survived until we got to the next thing. But then we thought we were pregnant and that rocked our little world. We weren’t pregnant, but we thought that maybe we’d like to be. So, Seattle went out the window and babies flew in. I also applied to grad school at JBU. School didn’t work out and neither has a baby. In April, we began the process of looking for a house, which was also unsuccessful.

I can see now why those things didn’t work out. If we’d had a baby, or a house, or I’d been in grad school, we wouldn’t be able to move to Germany within a few months time. But, at the time, I didn’t know that. With each new disappointment, I withdrew from God. I started to doubt whether he had good things for me and whether he loved me. Believing lies, that’s also a recurring pattern in my life. I began to look more at my disappointment and sadness and less at God’s goodness and faithfulness. I withdrew. That’s what I do when I don’t know how to handle something. I withdraw into myself and away from real life.

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September 13th, 2009

A Song I Received About God’s Love

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This is a song I received after God overwhelmed me with His love. I was lead to read John 1:11-14. It talks about how God welcomes all those who believe in His name into His family. And that we, of our own flesh, cannot enter in any other way.

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September 3rd, 2009

The Journey’s Path: Part 3

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I think this next step in my journey was pretty important, and still is. I am probably going to struggle with feelings of not being the provider for my family. I know I’m supposed to trust God, but I’ve been trying to be the provider for so long now, it’s how I think.

So, I’m praying that God helps me to see that He is big (Proverbs 30) and that my eyes are opened to the flawed pursuit of stability in wealth.

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September 2nd, 2009

The Journey’s Path: Part 2

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This next post I wrote after Dani and I mentally decided to go to Germany. We were still seeking God and trying to figure out if this was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to go through with this Germany thing if I didn’t feel God was leading us in that direction.

Now it totally feels like God is opening all the doors for us to go to Germany.

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September 2nd, 2009

Introduction to doing video posts

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Thought I would share my first video for our new blog, hopefully I will get better at filming myself. It’s kind of weird at first. 🙂

I’m going to try and make the videos pretty organized and give a general description of the content.

This video is simply an introduction to the website, and a short reading from a Bible passage that’s pretty appropriate for where Dani and I are headed in our lives. We shouldn’t try and limit what God can do, He can handle it.

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