Tales From The Black Forest

October 9th, 2009

Learning to Love

Written by Dani Filed under: Life, Spiritual Journey

And now a post about something real.

The past three years haven’t been my best. I had a lot of expectations about what I thought should happen, and when they didn’t happen, I didn’t respond well. This seems to be a reoccurring pattern in my life. When we graduated from John Brown, the plan was to stay in Northwest Arkansas for two years and then move to Seattle to go to grad school. So I lived a temporary life. I didn’t invest in anything. I didn’t make new friends. I just survived until we got to the next thing. But then we thought we were pregnant and that rocked our little world. We weren’t pregnant, but we thought that maybe we’d like to be. So, Seattle went out the window and babies flew in. I also applied to grad school at JBU. School didn’t work out and neither has a baby. In April, we began the process of looking for a house, which was also unsuccessful.

I can see now why those things didn’t work out. If we’d had a baby, or a house, or I’d been in grad school, we wouldn’t be able to move to Germany within a few months time. But, at the time, I didn’t know that. With each new disappointment, I withdrew from God. I started to doubt whether he had good things for me and whether he loved me. Believing lies, that’s also a recurring pattern in my life. I began to look more at my disappointment and sadness and less at God’s goodness and faithfulness. I withdrew. That’s what I do when I don’t know how to handle something. I withdraw into myself and away from real life.

So I’ve been living the past few years inside myself, wailing about how awful things are, which is completely stupid.

Lately, I’ve been realizing how much my life has been about me—what I want, how I feel, how bad things are, how unhappy I am. This weekend, I was reminded of how I want to live my life. I was reminded by a sermon and my sister-in-law Hannah and her fiance, Ash.

We went to church with Israel’s family on Sunday evening. The sermon was on vision. When it started, the first thing I thought of was love. I want to love people well. Obviously, that is a very broad vision, and perhaps not a vision at all, but when I think about my life and what I want to spend my time on, it’s on loving people. I want to be an example of Christ’s love. I want people to feel accepted and safe and free when they’re around me. I don’t want people to be uncomfortable, or feel judged or rejected. I want them to know they are loved, and I want that love to point them to Jesus. I can’t do that if I’m complaining, or mopping, or criticizing everything because I’m so unhappy. I need to look outside myself, to God and to people. I need to stop putting myself first and start caring about other people. And I need to stop trying to figure out what to do about people and just accept them as they are. But this love has to manifest itself in the tiny things of life or it’s pointless. So, I need to actually listen when people talk to me. I need to stop moping around my house and start cleaning it, so I can invite people in if they stop by. And I need to encourage people with my words.

One of my spiritual gifts is exhortation. I love to speak into people’s lives about who they are and who God wants them to be. I love to share what I see in others and how I see them growing. But when I’m focused on myself all the time, I think I tear people down rather than build them up. I focus on all of their flaws and what annoys me rather than seeing them as God does. Being around Hannah reminded me that I want to build people up with my words. She’s a very encouraging person and somewhere in the midst of all of her compliments and kind words, I remembered that I want to be like that! I want to be able to delight in people and with people. I’ve not done much rejoicing in the past few years and I want to rejoice with others! I believe that one of things God has called me to do is build others up and speak words of truth into their lives, but I am not capable of doing that when I’m believing the lies myself and am wrapped up in my little self-absorbed cocoon.

I am really bad at doing these things—loving people and building them up. I suck at it. A lot. But I want to try. I’ll probably always be bad at it, but I believe God can use me if I allow him to. I believe he can help me to love people and he can give me words that bring life and light and truth to others. So far this week, I’ve failed. I already forgot that I wanted to live like this, but I remembered yesterday. And I remembered today. Hopefully I’ll remember everyday and I’ll actually love and encourage, not just think about it.

October 6th, 2009

Can You Feel the Love?

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Written by Dani Filed under: Family, Life, Travel

After returning from Telephone, Israel had a short three days work-week before we headed to the Jernigan home in Muskogee. We spent three days with the family in Muskogee. Hannah and Ash arrived from Australia on September 24th. Besides the few hours we saw them before heading to Telephone, we hadn’t seen them at all. And since we’d never met Ash, it was very important that we get to know him. Israel is the older brother, after all.

Friday morning, Hannah and Ash got up bright and early so I could do their engagement photos. It was very chilly and dewy around the Jernigan property, but they were brave and agreed to lay on wet hay bales and grass. I’m so glad they did, because their photos are awesome! So far, my favorite shoots have been in fields early in the morning. Actually, they’ve all been with family members too. I love the mood of Hannah and Ash’s photos. The Jernigans have five to seven horses (I don’t remember the exact number), and at one point, they all decided to get in on the photos. I was quite thrilled. Horses! In photos! Yes! But Hannah thought it would make her look really Oklahoma country. She was totally wrong. I don’t think it’s possible for Hannah to look like an Oklahoma country girl. And there’s no way anyone would think that of Ash.

Friday night we went to the high school football game to see Israel’s twin brothers, Asa and Ezra, play in the band. I paid absolutely no attention to the game. I thought we were winning for quite a while, but we weren’t. We lost. By a lot. But, during the massacre, we played with our brand new video camera and ate funnel cake. I love food. Can you tell?

Saturday we did some family photos. There are now 14 people in the Jernigan family. 14. That’s a lot of people to have look good at the same time. Surprisingly, there were actually some really good photos of the whole fam. Once we split up into smaller groups however….

That afternoon we headed to Tulsa. The girls went to Hannah’s lingerie party. The boys went to the state fair where they watched pig racing and ate chocolate covered bacon. We all met up at P.F. Changs for dinner that night with some family friends. Jernigan, party of 18? Our poor waiter.

Sunday was filled with church and family. We always go to Grandma Jernigan’s house for lunch on Sundays. We stayed for the evening service to see Hannah and Ash lead worship. The whole service was awesome. I’m so glad we stayed.

It was really hard to leave. We won’t see Hannah and Ash again until their wedding in April. We love Ash. He’s absolutely perfect for Hannah. He’s very funny, very intentional and very loving. Plus, he’s Australian, which ups his cool level by like 47%. Israel even started to pick up his accent, Oh Israel. Seeing Hannah was really great for me. She’s so encouraging and has such a sense of purpose. I was reminded of how I want to live my life—with purpose—and that I want to speak words that are uplifting and bring hope to those who hear them.

You’ve got to check out these photos. Seriously.

: Horses{|}

: Love This One{|}

: Hannah{|}

: Sigh{|}

: Judah and Raina at the Game{|}

: The Muskogee Roughers Band{|}

: The Jernigan Family{|}

: The Jernigans{|}

: A Happy Family{|}

: The Family{|}

: The Girls with Momma J{|}

: The Girls with Poppa J{|}

: My Favorite Photo{|}This was not planned.

: The Boys with Poppa J{|}

: Shaun and Glory{|}

: Momma and Poppa J - Israel's Parents{|}

: The 'Rents{|}

October 5th, 2009

A Visit to Texas

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Written by Dani Filed under: Family, Life, Travel

Just so you know, the photo header is not Texas. It’s Arkansas. I took it on the way back from Texas. I felt obliged to tell you. You know, just in case you decided to move to Texas just from looking at that photo and then were really surprised when it wasn’t hilly and green.

Last week, Israel took a couple days off so we could head to Texas to see my family. It was a crazy-busy weekend, with not as much family time as I wanted, but we got to see a lot of people, which was the point.

Israel’s sister Hannah has been in Australia for two years studying at the Hillsong International Leadership College. While there, she met her soon-to-be-husband Ashley, who we call Ash. They came in on Thursday evening, so we headed to Muskogee to see them. It was so good to see them. They were exhausted, of course, but when we arrived everyone was playing Apples to Apples. It was the first time the whole family, all 14 of us, had been together in almost two years. Friday morning, we went to IHOP for Ash’s first American breakfast. I’m sure he was very impressed.

After IHOP, we drove to Telephone, Texas, where I spent my high school years.

Yes, there really is a town called Telephone. It’s tiny, which is why you’ve never heard of it.

My parent’s divorced when I was 13. Shortly after their divorce we moved in with Grandpa and Grandma. We were supposed to be there for one year, but ended up staying for six. As my grandpa is a Southern Baptist pastor, we were required to go to church, something I wasn’t always happy about. But that little Baptist church is where I got my spiritual foundation.

After the three hour drive from Muskogee to Telephone, we spent the afternoon with my grandma, aunt and cousins. Then we headed into “town” where we met my mom and Uncle Louie, Aunt Charlotte and cousin, Joel, for dinner. I haven’t seen them in about six years, so it was wonderful to reconnect. When I called Charlotte to finalize our plans, Joel answered and I thought I had called the wrong number because his voice was so DEEP! I mean deeeeeep.

On Saturday, we met up with Charlotte and my cousin Bekah for breakfast at Starbucks, since Bekah was working the night before. She REALLY wants to live in Europe and work with kids. So, of course, we tried to figure out what she could do at BFA. Then we headed to Dallas where we met some college friends, Rachel and Chris, for lunch at Cafe Brazil. I think four different people told us to go to Cafe Brazil. They had about 30 different kinds of coffee. Israel had breakfast tacos. I had loaded fries. Because I wasn’t very hungry. Hmm…..

Then, we met up with Israel’s old roommate, Chris, at the NorthPark Mall, which is where we always meet Chris. We got another coffee and walked through Anthropologie. Can I just tell you how much I love that store? I love it a lot. If only it were about 70% cheaper. Sigh.

Then, we drove to Waxahachie to see Israel’s Great Aunt Helon. I’d never been to her house before, so it was nice to see where she lives. We should really make her tell us her life story sometime, because it sounds like she’s done a lot of interesting things. Once we got back to my mom’s house, we watched half of Stardust but couldn’t finish it because we were so tired. I really like this movie, by the way.

On Sunday we visited Telephone Baptist Church, where I grew up. I hadn’t been in a couple years because my grandpa helped start a cowboy church that we usually go to when we’re in town. It was so nice to see everyone again. People didn’t recognize me because my hair is so short now (actually, it’s rather long at this moment and desperately needs to be cut; short hair doesn’t look good grown out). It was the first day of a revival, so we were invited to attend lunch after the service. Brisket and potato salad and lots of dessert. Mmmm.

We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with my family. We addressed envelopes to mail, fried okra (of course), ate Philly cheese steaks, and watched The Amazing Race while petting Samson the Pitbull. Israel and I both really liked Samson, which is surprising because we’re not dog people. We have Felin for a reason.

: About to Head to IHOP{|}

: Judah{|}

: Stuffed Pancakes = Disgusting{|}

: Dani, Hannah and Judah{|}

: Galen{|}

: Joel, with the Deep Voice{|}

: Louie{|}

: Charlotte and Louie{|}

: Our Prayer Card and a BFA Brochure{|}

: Mmm, Coffee{|}

: Bekah{|}

: Grandpa's Car{|}

: Abstract Car{|}

: The Homestead{|}This is where I grew up in Telephone, Texas. And my grandpa.

: Bois D'Arc Creek Cowboy Church{|}

: Car, Again{|}

: Addressing Envelopes{|}

: Grandma{|}

: Don't Mess with Me{|}

: On the Way Home{|}

September 23rd, 2009

How to Pray

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Written by Dani Filed under: Life, Prayer, Work & School

We greatly appreciate your prayers. They make a huge difference. Here are some things you can pray for over the next week.

Support – That God will bring 100% of our support in by October.
We’re at about 14% of our monthly support or $765. Now, not everyone has told us what they will be giving and not everyone has sent in their paperwork yet. So this is not an official number. We need 80% of our support in order to book tickets, but we would prefer to have 100%. We just found out that we will be living in an apartment one town over from Kandern, where the school is. This means we’ll need a car. At 80% of our budget, all of our living expenses are covered. At 100%, a car is covered. We are still praying that God will provide our support by the beginning of October, but it will definitely take a miracle!

Last Month in Our Apartment – Should October be the last month we’re in this apartment?
We are praying about whether October should be the last month we stay in our apartment. We have to give a month’s notice when we move. So, if October is our last month, but we don’t have enough support to leave, we’ll be homeless. But, if we wait until we have our support, we might have to pay rent for a month that we aren’t here.

Money for Our Lease – $1600
I signed a year-long lease three weeks before we found out about BFA. We tried to change our lease, but they wouldn’t let us. So, in order to break our lease we will have to pay three extra months of rent, about $1,600. This will basically deplete our savings, which is definitely not ideal. So, pray that we will either not have to pay this amount or that God will provide the money for it.

Video Equipment - BFA needs video equipment
Black Forest Academy doesn’t really have any video equipment. We would love to be able to find people to donate equipment or money to buy equipment for the school. Here are the specifics that we’d like to have: two professional quality, mini-DV video cameras with all the fixings (tripods, batteries, a light kit, boom mic, lapel mic, etc.), a Mac Pro desktop computer, an external hard drive with LOTS of storage space, Final Cut Pro, and Adobe Creative Suite.

Our Marriage – We don’t work well together
Pray for our marriage in general, that through this experience we’ll love each other more, grow closer together and bring more glory to God. But also pray that we’ll work well together. We tend to argue when we’re working on a creative project together—like a website, video or design project. Since we’ll pretty much be doing these kinds of projects all the time in Germany, pray that we’ll learn to communicate in a way that is encouraging and supportive to the other person. Pray that we’ll be patient.

Preparing a Place for Us – Our life in Germany
Pray that God will prepare a place for us in Germany. Pray that we’ll have great friends, a comfortable home and good relationships with the students. Pray that we’ll enjoy our jobs and excel at them. Pray that we’ll learn German quickly and feel comfortable driving a car with a standard transmission. Just pray for our adjustment in general, and that God would get things ready for us there.

Israel - Trusting God
Pray that Israel will give his worries to God. He takes very seriously his role as the provider of our family, so raising support is definitely a challenging experience for him. Pray that he will remember that God is our ultimate provider. Pray that he will not be discouraged or feel defeated. Pray that he will have time to get everything done, even though he still working a full-time job. He needs joy and peace!

Dani – Proper response to difficulties
I tend to get discouraged when things don’t go as I want them to. My habit is to withdraw and become depressed. So, pray that when things don’t go as I plan, that I will press in to God and seek his perspective. Pray that I am open to learning through my hardships and that I have a positive attitude. I don’t want to repeat my pattern of withdrawal and depression.

September 22nd, 2009

Why BFA Is Awesome for Families

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Written by Dani Filed under: Work & School

We’ve spent a lot of time over the past few weeks sharing with people in Northwest Arkansas about BFA and why we’re so excited about going. On Sunday we shared with our church. As I was preparing, I realized how wonderful BFA is for missionary families. I think the idea of boarding school can be kind of difficult for some people. I know the first things that pop into my head when I think of boarding school are some rich parents who don’t want to deal with their children, so they send them away to boarding school. But that’s so not Black Forest Academy.

As I’ve read through parent testimonies about BFA, I’ve realized that there are so many reasons that missionary families might decide BFA is the best place for their kids. Here are a few.

September 20th, 2009

The First, Real, Crazy Day

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Written by Israel Filed under: Work & School

So today was pretty crazy. Dani woke up to a giant knock on the door! I answered the door and was reminded by a friend from the worship team at church that I was late. Our alarm hadn’t gone off. I was supposed to be at church at 7:30 am. He knocked at our door at 8. So needless to say, I was pretty frantic while getting a shower, clothes, my bass and heading to the church.

This Sunday was also the day that Dani and I were supposed to talk before our home church about what we will be doing in Germany. So we needed to get up. I was very happy that they sent someone to wake us up, but was also pretty upset at myself—ugh.

Another thing that happened to me during the service was my monitor battery died—during the middle of the main worship set! We use in-ear pieces for our monitor system. And I play the bass without an amp. So, I basically couldn’t hear myself at all. It was weird and unexpected, as I had a new battery. Just another thing thrown at me to try and stress me out. But—eh—it’s just a monitor system. It doesn’t mean I still can’t worship. But it was weird all the stuff that seemed to happen this morning.

But church went well. We talked in both services about what we are doing in Germany, and how people can support what God is doing through us. We are praying that the church got our vision. We want people to see how passionate we are, but at the same time, we had limited time to speak. So it was an interesting public speaking experience for me. Super stressful, but a really good step.

Then the day continues. After church we went home, changed clothes and went to grab some lunch. After getting some tacos we went to the park to celebrate our community group leader’s birthday! Which was great. It was super nice outside, and I wish we had remembered to bring our camera to take pictures. I think we’ll have a new camera soon to make it easier to take quick pics.

Then, we went to a seminar on an introduction to Perspectives. (Find out more here.) Matt Fries, an elder at our church who is a becoming a great friend to us, led the discussion. Both Dani and I have been interested in taking the course, and thought it would be good to learn a little more about it. Plus, it was great to see Matt. It’s just amazing what God is doing in the world, and how our view of Christianity is shaped by where we grow up. World-wide thinking is becoming a much bigger part of our lives, and we want to learn more.

For dinner, we drove back and called our friend Evie for a quick bite. We went and grabbed some pizza on the square in Fayetteville. We love doing stuff with her and are totally glad she’s our friend. I think we just love having friends, and having them be a part of our lives, and us a part of theirs. It’s just great. It’s supposed to be that way.

To end our day, we met with a new friend who wanted to know more about us and Germany. It was a good wrap-up for our day, I think. We got to be more personal and share more from our hearts about who we are. Speaking in front of a large group is fine and all, but our passion and heart is relationships. So it was really great.

So now I have my coffee, and am relaxing while I write this out. It’s great to have people around you who support you and want to be a part of your life. I love it, and feel so blessed.

September 16th, 2009

Felin, the Wonder Cat

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Written by Dani Filed under: Life

I think one of the hardest things about moving to Germany will be leaving behind our cat, Felin (pronounced Fa-LEAN). We got Felin from a shelter in April. Israel thought she was the coolest cat he’d ever seen. I thought he was weird. But he wasn’t, he was right. She is the coolest cat. Ever.

In the past six months, she’s become my little companion. What will I do without her? Sniff.

Would you like to live with the coolest cat ever? She needs a good home. Preferably one with lots of treats. Felin is declawed in her front paws and probably wouldn’t survive as a full-time outdoor cat. Though, we’ve been letting her outside a bit lately, and I think we’ve created a door-dasher. She’s a Siamese mix, so she might not do well with other cats, but we really have no idea.*

Here are some awesome things about Felin, the Wonder Cat.

At five o’clock every morning she plops down on my chest and purrs while I scratch her head and fall back asleep.
When I whistle, she comes running, even though my whistle is barely audible. I think she’s part dog…
Every time she hears me walking in the kitchen, she runs in, meows, purrs and rubs against my legs to beg me to, please, give her a dollop of that yummy canned cat food. Then she will stretch her little paws up toward the counter top to demonstrate how much she’d love some.
Felin will happily stand on her hind legs, give a high five, kiss my nose or turn in a circle to get a treat. Do you know any other cat that will do that?
Felin’s favorite toys are cheap. Really cheap. We just wad up taffy or cough drop wrappers and toss them to her. Months of fun. She also loves to eat rubber bands. Yum.
Felin is very organized. When we leave our sock drawer open at night, all of our fuzzy socks are lined up in a row on the floor in the morning.
She knows how to take down those pesky things called feet. Because she’s ferocious like that.
If we leave any glasses full of liquid sitting around, she happily pulls them over for us. She knows we prefer the water all over the table. Doesn’t everyone?

I mean really, how could you resist this face?

: Best Eyes Ever{|}

: The Wonder Cat{|}

: Pretty Kitty{|}

: Look at that Face{|}

: Felin{|}

: Felin{|}

: Yawning Is the Best{|}

: Stretching Is also the Best{|}

: Sitting on the Floor{|}

*I checked the info sheet from the shelter where we got Felin. She’s good with kids and other pets, so she’s pretty much the perfect cat.

September 13th, 2009

Weekend Happenings

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Written by Dani Filed under: Life

The past two months have been busy, and this week was no exception. Israel’s brother, Judah, stayed with us for three days, which was wonderful. We’ve been sharing with a lot of Community Groups from our church about our adventure to Germany. And we spent the weekend hanging out with friends. But, before I tell you all the details, I want to give you an update on our support raising.

We’ve been working on support raising for about two weeks. Our goal is to have at least 80% of our support raised by the beginning of October. October is two weeks away. So far, seven people have told us the amount they’ll be giving each month, which totals to $335 a month, 6% of our budget. But as far as I know, no one has actually mailed in their paperwork. If you have committed to supporting us each month, will you get your support paperwork in the mail by Tuesday? This will be a huge help for us, as it will give us a better idea of where we are financially. We’re also hoping that Israel will be able to start working part-time to focus more on support raising, but in order for this to happen, we need to have some support to draw on.

We know that raising $5,000 in two weeks is pretty impossible. Which is why we’re praying for God do the impossible, by raising $5,000 in two weeks. Please pray that with us. If God has a different time-line in mind, that’s fine, but we know he has unlimited resources at his disposal and can easily make impossible things happen. He is God, after all.

Okay, onto our weekend.

On Friday, we took Judah to Hugo’s. This is probably our favorite restaurant in Fayetteville. This great hamburger place is located in a basement off of the Fayetteville Square. It feels like a dark little pub and there’s usually a loooong wait. I had the Blue Moon Burger. With. Blue. Cheese. Yum. I was looking forward to to Hugo’s all week long. No joke. Then we went to Common Grounds and had mochas. This summer, we’ve taken three friends to Hugo’s and then Common Grounds. If you come to visit, you can be the fourth.

On Saturday, we met our friends Brandon and Becca for breakfast at The Little Bread Company, right across the street from Hugo’s. We recently discovered this bakery and, let me tell you, it’s pretty good. Try anything. You’ll like it. After chatting about video for a while—Brandon is a digital media dude—we wandered up to the Farmer’s Market with Lily, the dog. On the way, young Lily decided she needed a bathroom break, but, apparently, she hasn’t quite figured out that she needs to finish pooing before walking again. Things were a little gross for a while. While we were wandering the Farmer’s Market, I saw the biggest dog ever. I think it was four feet tall, just standing there. Four feet! I believe it was an Irish Wolfhound or Scottish Deerhound. No, I didn’t get a photo.

It has been a wonderful Sunday. We went to the early service at our amazing church, The Grove Church. Before we left, I ate breakfast on our porch. I love being outside in the mornings, especially rainy mornings. I haven’t seen many mornings in the past year, since my schedule has been pretty flexible (meaning I get up at 10 and don’t shower until 2). But early mornings are the best time for me to sit with God and be still. I’m going to try to get up earlier and enjoy the AM from now on. We’ll see how that goes.

After church we had breakfast, for lunch, with Evan and Emily from our Community Group. Then we played Canasta, with real cards instead of the Canasta Caliente deck we have at home. It is confusing going from pretty cards that say Wild and Stop, to A, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…. Anyway, Israel and Evan won. Emily and I lost. Stupid discard pile.

Here are a few photos from our weekend adventures.