Well, I have been trying to write this post for over a week. It was kind of an up and down week for me, and I’ve been unable to translate what I think and feel about support raising into words. I usually do better when I’m feeling optimistic and positive. This week, I had some rather frustrating days when all of my thoughts were dark.
If you gathered from that little introductory paragraph that I’m not always very excited about support raising, you’re right. Sometimes, I’m not. Sometimes it sucks. It can be scary, and frustrating, and discouraging and impossible. I often feel like we’ll never get to Germany, and, if we do, it certainly won’t be in a timely manner. I often put off calling certain people because they intimidate me (terrify might be a more accurate word). Sometimes I leave an appointment and think, that person didn’t get our vision all. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think, God, what are we doing?
But there are also really good days. Like last Wednesday, when I had dinner with a single friend who said she wanted to give $100 a month. I was floored. The next day, a woman who we’ve never even met said she wanted to give $150 a month, to start with! People (that’s how my grandpa always addresses crowds), that’s 5% of our monthly budget in 24 hours! That was a good day.
Then there was the night when I was tired and sad—and had been for two weeks. I was laying in bed watching Hulu— because I was tired and sad—and Israel came in to show me a text message he’d just received. A couple from church wanted to give $100 a month and $200 the first month. That was a good day too.
And sometimes, the people who I’m terrified to call one day, don’t seem so scary the next day. And occasionally we have really encouraging meetings with people. And sometimes, we’ll get an email from someone who’s prayed for exactly what we’re dealing with that day. And there are times we get money in the mail, because we’ve run out.
Those are the good days.
In the past six weeks, we’ve been all-in and indifferent, hopeful and hopeless, hardened and convicted, downtrodden and encouraged—along with a whole slew of other emotions. Support raising is most certainly a growing process. We’re learning to trust God’s provision in very basic, practical ways. We’re learning to trust the Holy Spirit to bring people to our support team, instead of relying on our own charisma and pretty words. We’re learning to believe, in a whole new way, that God is good, and wise and capable to completing what he has begun in our lives. And during our times of doubt and questioning our sanity, God has affirmed that this is exactly where he wants us to be, and that he has uniquely prepared us to serve BFA and love the kids there.
When we started this new phase of support raising in January, we had 25% of our monthly support. As of this morning, we have 45%. We still need to raise at least 35% more ($1,900) in the next 24 days in order to leave in April, and we know that’s a huge task. But we’ve seen glimpses of God’s provision and power and ability over the past few weeks. We’re still hopeful that God will cause a tidal wave of support to flood our account. And if not, that’s okay. We trust that we’ll be at Black Forest Academy at the perfect time. We’ll keep doing our part and trust him to do the rest.
